We left our house with a whole bunch of stuff still in it image003.jpg

at about 4:00 in the morning after a heavy night of packing and throwing stuff away. After a 3-hour drive we eventually arrived at Heathrow airport and shuffled in with our bags and a craving for a full English. Unfortunately for the Spanish dude who served us the wrong food, Ceri was in a very grumpy mood and chewed his leg, head and part of his left arm off. I believe he is going to be fitted for a prosthetic at the end of this week.


The plane trip as usual was mind numbingly the same as every other flight. I did get to see the HULK movie, which was better than I thought it would be. Ceri saw the first half of the movie 3 times but fell asleep during each of then, so she hasn't seen then end yet.


We landed in Kuala Lumpur

I had some Indian food and caught the next flight out to Kota Kinabalu (another city on the Borneo side of Malaysia) for our 5 days of Diving and touring. Unfortunately, the hostel we wanted to stay in had suddenly moved to the other side of the city. So we go there and like Mary and Joseph, there was no space at the inn. Except for a double room with en suite that they gave to us, for almost the same price as a dorm room. Sweet:).


Here was my first introduction to toilets without toilet paper. What do they use to wipe there asses with I hear you say.

Their left hand!!

That and a hose with a shower thingy on the end. It is actually cooler than toilet paper. Except for the wet bum. But it's so hot there that you just drip dry.


Anyway, the next day we head out to try find someone stupid enough to teach me how to breath underwater (Since I had my 'Bubble blower' certificate and wanted to become a diver). Little did we realise that it was Hari Raya (a Muslim religious holiday) for the next 2 days. Doh!

So we thought bugger, but we will shoot over to Sepilok to see the Orang-utans. Cool. How long does it take to get there? Only six hours by bus if they are working. Sods to that idea too. Lets go lie on a beach somewhere.


This is me on a beach somewhere.

They have a weird way of organizing boat trips. There aren't set times that the water taxis go out to certain islands. You have to find a bunch of people that want to go to the same Island you do, agree on a time to come back and then go tell these two fat dudes who run the harbor where you want to go.


We got a trip out to a small island called Manutik

and I spent the whole time swimming with the fishes. The Coral is amazing. Even though Ceri said it was all dead. There are thousands of fishies that just swim around you as if you weren't there. I felt like a whale swimming around. So I made whale noises and choked on my snorkel.

People stand on the docks and throw bread in the water to feed the fish. There are so many of them that it looks like a whole bunch of piranhas feeding on a local kid who fell in the river.


We met a weird looking girl in the hostel we were staying in who was doing her open water dives (the same thing I wanted to do) and managed to convince the guy that was teaching her to take me on some of the dives to get my qualification.

After 2 grueling days of diving with large plates of noodles and beer mugs of coffee I got my diving certificate.

This is the dude who taught me to breath under water. He has an immediate family (including cozins) of some 200 people. Some are Irish and British and American and Japanese and Indian. This guy's family is the epitome of diversity.

We also had a bunch of stupid monkeys steal my paw paw just after we wandered off to get a plate of noodles.


They got what they deserved coz a bit later they stole some chicken from the canteen and were busy chowing down on it when a freaking huge lizard came along and grabbed the chicken from the stooopid monkeys.

Puke form Kota Kinabalu



On the last day we were there we decided to go to Lookout point. Which was closed due to another holiday there. The place was high up on the side of a big hill and gives you a bird's eye view of the whole of Kota Kinabalu. I decided to race Ceri down the hill on our scooters coz the hill was steep and windy and there weren't many cars coming down it. I won!! Hooraa for Anton! But Ceri found the only small hole in the road and bailed. She tore her knee open and scratched her back and arm. I didn't see her wipe but it must have been spectacular because the locals were standing around clapping.


We caught a flight back to Kuala Lumpur and stayed in a hotel for the night, which turned out cheaper than having to find a hostel at 9 at night and arrange transport.

Ceri's knee in the mean time turned a weird colour blue and started to ooze puss a lot.

This is some puke from Kuala Lumpur:)

A bus load of people laughed at me when I took it.

Then we had lunch at Nandos. Yes they have Nandos in Malaysia. Cool!

We landed up at the airport and start to check in but Anton does a stupid and gives them my Austrian passport instead of my South African. Doh! I got told to sit down and wait until they had contacted immigration in Australia and decided whether to let me in or not. I was shitting bricks.

After about 15 minutes of $h1tt1ng around wondering what country I could go too to reapply for a visa, the lady at the counter called me over, gave me back my passport and told me it was cool and I could get on the plane.